End of a Startup…….
I woke up late and hungry to a rather dull Sunday morning. It was a first Sunday after a dry budget that was bereft of any personal benefits to a middle class person like me. It was disappointing. But after 48 hours now, I got reconciled to surviving one more year on same tax level for the benefit of nation.
I walked to the kitchen expecting at least a nice breakfast of idali sambar & uppit laid out on table. Instead of that I saw my sweet wife fervently scribbling something on a piece of paper and working seriously with her calculator, her jewellery neatly spread out on the dining table. I noticed one necklace, two gold chains, two gold bangles, few ear rings, two finger rings, some silver coins. I quickly identified all those items as gifted to her by my side of people. Necklace by my aunt, chains by my sisters, bangles by my mother, rings by cousins, coins were mostly Diwali gifts received by me. The jewellery gifted from her side was prominently absent.
“What on the earth you are doing with this paper & calculator?? And why this exhibition of jewellery??” I asked.
“Can’t you see? “, she said, not so much of looking at me and hitting some numbers on calculator, “I am working on a startup.”
“What? Startup??” I was startled by the way she said it.
“Shhh..”, she admonished me, putting her index finger on her lips, ” Don’t shout. Somebody may hear. It is a secret”
Years of marital life has taught me not to make critical comments at critical junctures. So I pulled a chair and collecting all my well nurtured patience, asked, “Can you please tell me what you are up to?”
“You see”, she said with an air of full seriousness, “I am opening a startup for selling sabudana vada”
“Sabudana vada??” I screamed again, unable to comprehend what she said.
“Don’t scream”, she admonished,” You only say I make the best sabudana vada among all your relatives”
Actually I say this to all her dishes. That is my way of ensuring marital peace in house. But what has it to do with startup?
“So I have decided to capitalise on that and open a startup of selling my patented sabudana vada in neighbourhood”. Seeing that I am finally understanding, she slowly got enthusiastic “I am planning to raise capital out of selling this jewellery. Anyway it is of no use to me. When do I wear this? You never take me to any function nowadays at all.”
I neglected sarcasm in that statement with a skill with which Rohit Sharma negotiates an outswinger from Malinga.
“And you see,” her enthusiasm was now peaking, ” if Modi sends his income tax officers to our home, there will be problem. These are all gifts and I don’t have original bills. They will say it is Benami property and will confiscate it”.
I wondered why on the earth Mr. Modi will send his income tax officers to an ordinary middle class voter staying at Bhuvaneshwarinagar, Bengaluru, 2000 km away from 7, Race Course Road, New Delhi. But my wife was now unstoppable.
“So I got this idea. I will sell this jewellery and invest the money in startup. That way I will save capital gain tax on its sale, get rid of benami property and also have my own startup business.” She concluded and looked at me triumphantly.
At 10.30 am when he was already quarter up the sky, the Sun finally dawned on me. So it was all in budget. Nirmala Sitharaman did propose something about saving capital gain tax and investing in startup. But if I remember it well, she made this provision for landed property, not for jewellery; that too not the one gifted by in-laws. Now, if I try to point it out to my excited wife, hell would break loose. I will be challenged and will be made to listen to Finance Minister’s budget speech again. If I don’t do anything, the Indian economy will face one more startup on its way to failure on the launching day itself. I decided to use my years of expertise gained by working with CII-EXIM Bank Business Excellence Model to solve this complex problem.
Getting up from my seat, I gave her a kiss in cheek and shook her hands.
“Great idea dear. I am really proud of you,” I said with enthusiasm despite of crows fluttering desperately in my empty stomach and added with an affectionate caution in my voice, “But don’t you think that such a great startup should be based only on one product, I mean sabudana vada. You are such a good cook. You can add more to the menu.”
“Yes, you are right”, she said, apparently pleased by my ‘genuine’ praise, “I can add thalipith, bhajanichi chakali, kanda pohe in my menu. What do you say?”.
Now there was a trap. But I had an expert business excellence plan to thwart it.
“Yes, but you see” I now became alert and carefully choosing my words, said, ” you have to do segmentation of your market. Thalipith bilipith are only Marathi specialities. But we have Panjabis, Gujarathis, Christians and younger population in our colony. Bangalore is becoming cosmopolitan. Your product must satisfy the taste of wider customer base”
“So?” she asked with hint of curiosity.
“So, you have to diversify your product portfolio” I said, with an air of an expert Business Excellence consultants with my mind racing to remember items she can’t cook.” For example, you have to add exotic dishes, like Sarsoda Saag, Oondhiyu, pastries, Mexican Tortillas, Italian Lasagne, Thai Green & Red Curries. This will give your startup an international flavour and wider customer base”
By this time she started to listen intently and seemed to have been interested in what I said.
“Good idea” she said and added with doubtful voice, ” But I don’t know how to cook them”.
Thank God, here was a moment which I wanted. Years of successfully living with her taught me one thing. Her enthusiasm has a short half life. If I somehow make her postpone starting a startup, the idea is most likely to end before seeing the light of the day.
“What is so great in that”, I said, with as much sincerity in my voice as possible, “You can always join cooking classes and quickly learn these things in six months. For a good cook like you, it won’t take much long to learn new dishes.”
“Yeah,” she said pondering seriously, obviously liking my praise, “You have a point. I cannot have a startup only on sabudana vada. I need to have larger variety, diverse portfolio and segmented market. But then cooking class will delay everything by few months. Won’t it be late? And what do I do with this jewellery now?” She mournfully looked at the assorted gift from my precious people.
“No issues”, I was super quick with my response, ” We will put it back in locker till then. And take out to sell it later.”
“Ok”, She nodded in approval with an hint of reluctance.
Now was the time for me give a golden punch to ensure everything falls in line.
“I have an idea. I will take CL tomorrow. We will first go to bank. Keep everything safely in locker. Then we will visit cooking class and get you enrolled. After that we will go to Little Italy on 100 feet road and have Italian lunch. You can start getting acquainted with your startup dishes”.
My lovely wife likes it best when I take CL and take her to some nice restaurant for lunch. She jumped up happily, gave me a huge Afzalkhan hug and enthusiastically declared.
“OK Done. Now get up, brush your teeth, take bath and come back. I will make my special sabudana vada for you for breakfast “
I was aghast for a moment! Sabudana vada was the last thing I expected to get as a reward for my Business Excellence acumen in preventing a startup disaster. But then it was a small price for saving jewellery gifted from my aunts and sisters. And even if Mr. Modi now sends his income tax officers to check for benami jewellery at my home, they won’t find anything. The risk no more rests on me, but entirely on those officers. Because at the end of their futile search, my lovely wife will surely treat them with hot ginger tea and….
guess what??…..yes, you are right!…
… Her favourite sabudana vadas!!
